The Birds and the Bees and the Wolverines
by joanofarc15
Summary: Marvel girl becomes a Marvel woman and now it's up to Wolverine to give twelve-year-old Jean Grey 'the talk.'


Note: If you read the comics, this would be considered AU, as it is based on a different background for Jean and Scott's arrival at the mansion. In terms of the cartoon, where no backstory is, as of yet, provided, the addition of Beast (the blue hairy one) at such an early time would be AU.

For a quick summary here is the story I am basing Jean and Scott's history on (which I am actually in the very slow process of writing): Following with the traditional story, but changing the time frame a little to fit with Xev, Jean witnessed and was a part of her best friend Annie's death. She was eight and the emotional strain pushed her into a two-year coma. Eventually she came into the hands of Xavier who pulled her out of it and has been teaching her to control her powers at the institute. She is currently twelve years old and enrolled in an all girls Catholic school. Scott has just recently arrived at the mansion, six weeks ago. He lived on the streets and was being used by Jack Winters to assist in bank robberies. Xavier rescued him and Scott has been under his custody since. Dr. McCoy is working on developing a pair of glasses, but until then Scott remains blind, a piece of duct tape separating the world from deadly eyes.

The Birds and the Bees and the Wolverines

Wolverine stared at the boy sitting at the table. It had been six weeks and still the boy would not allow them to remove the dingy piece of duct tape he had covering his eyes. Hank had been working on a special pair of glasses for the kid, but his progress was painstakingly slow. 

Taking a quick sip of his black coffee, Logan casually reached out and pushed the cup of orange juice to the boy's wandering hand. 

"Thanks, but I can do it myself," Scott said quietly as he grasped the cup. 

Wolverine merely grunted at the thirteen-year-old boy. They hadn't said much to each other since the kid came in March. He had begun to believe that the boy was just the quiet type. Jean assured him that wasn't true and he believed her when she said it. In the short time since they had met each other, those two had become as thick as thieves. 

Jean stumbled into the dining room. She blushed as Logan looked up at the sound of her tripping across the hallway rug. "Morning," she mumbled as she made her way to the far end of the table. 

Logan watched her carefully. She was still in her nightgown. This didn't strike him as especially odd. He was her Uncle Logan' and she had nothing to be embarrassed for in front of a blind kid. But it was ten o'clock and Jean still in her nightgown at ten o'clock in the morning was out of the ordinary. 

The words what's going on' were just forming in his mouth as he caught the scent in the air. He tried to lock eyes with her but she was staring down into her cereal bowl. Her face was pasty pale and she was shivering a bit. 

*Logan, I'm sensing a great deal of anxiety and fear from Jean, is everything all right?* the voice sounded in Logan's head, cutting though his own thoughts.

*Is Ro still around?*

*No, she has already left for her sister's house. Why?*

*Just outta curiosity, you ain't never given Jeannie the talk' have you?*

*'the talk'?*

*You know, the birds and the bees and all that crap.*

*No, why?*

*Well I think she's gunna need it now. Our little marvel girl has just become a marvel woman.*

There was an abrupt silence.

*Excuse me?*

*Her period, Chuck, she just got her first period.*

*Ah, I see. Well, if you wouldn't mind taking her down to Hank in the lab I'm sure he can straighten every thing out. Between the two of you I'm sure Jean will gain a very complete understanding ofthe birds and the bees and whatnot.*

*Between the two of us?!*

*Yes, unfortunately I have a meeting withsomebody very important and after that I havea lot of paper work to go thorough. It is tax time, you know. Have you filed your taxes yet, Logan?*

*Sure, Chuck. I do em every year. Cept of course for my extended stay in the weapon X program. But I did it last week, when they were due.*

*Ah, well, good then. Good luck witheverything. I'll check in with you later tonight to see how it went.*

Wolverine opened his eyes and growled softly. Fucking wussy. 

"Did Storm buy you decaf again?" Scott asked with a small smile tugging at his lips.

Logan scowled, the kid may be on the quiet side, he thought, but when he does talk he's a sarcastic little bastard. "Naw, kid. Just got an assignment from the Prof. One I ain't much looking forward to."

"Need any help?" 

Logan chuckled despite his foul mood. "Thanks for the offer, but this is a delicate operation, a one man thing. sides, you have your kata to practice today. So finish eating and hop to it. I'll be out on the lawn in three hours and I expect to see some progress."

"Three hours?" it was a simple question, there was no whining or groaning involved. 

"Yeah, three. Now get outta here before I make it five."

Scott slurped the milk from his cereal bowl, jumped up from his seat and quickly negotiated his way out of the room. 

A loud squeak echoed through the dining hall as Jean pushed out her chair and rose to go follow him. 

"And where are you going, Red?" 

"Um, going to go get dressed," she answered as she picked up Scott's bowl as well as her own and put them in the sink. 

"Ain't you gunna finish your cereal?"

"Not really hungry," she said with a small smile as she headed out the door and upstairs to her room. 

Logan wiped a hand across his face, "You feeling ok, kid?" 

Jean's head snapped up, "Of course, I'm feeling ok. Why wouldn't I be feeling ok?" she asked in an accusatory tone. 

Well, this is gunna be fun, Logan thought to himself with a grim smile. "All right, sorry for asking," Logan put up his hands in an act of surrender. "Get dressed and meet me down in the lab in ten minutes."

"The lab?"

"Yeah, you're gunna do a little training with the doc."

Jean suppressed a groan and shuffled out of the dining hall. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For once, the eloquent scientist known as Henry McCoy found himself speechless. When he finally did speak, his words were barely above a whisper, "Oh my stars and garters."

Logan crossed his arms and leaned up against the metal examining table, "My thoughts exactly, bub."

Hank turned his back and busied himself with a rack of test tubes, "Well, I do wish to apologize, my friend. This momentous event has occurred at somewhat of an integral point in my protein isolation experiments."

Wolverine narrowed his eyes, "Soooo, in other words"

"I'm busy," Beast finished the sentence. 

"Bullshit," Wolverine growled. "She'll be down here in a few minutes so you'd better fuckin' well un-busy yourself, Hank."

Beast fidgeted with the sleeve of his lab coat, "Now, Logan, there is no need to use such volatile language. The fact is that at this moment science calls. I'm sure you can more than adequately handle the situation."

"Oh, sure. I got some magazines up in my room. I guess I could show the kid a couple of those," Logan grinned.

Beast choked, "You wouldn't!"

Logan's brow darkened, "Of course I fuckin' wouldn't! But how am I supposed to explain all of this birds and bees shit?"

"Let me tell you bout the birds and the beesand the wolverines," Beast sung and chuckled. 

Logan sneered at him, "Very funny."

The lab door creaked open and Jean slipped in dressed in baggy gray sweatpants and a navy blue Yale rowing sweatshirt which had been her fathers. 

"I thought you were going to change _out _of your pajamas," Logan said as he raised his eyebrow. 

"I'm sorry I'm not as well dressed as you are, Logan. My ripped up jeans must be in the wash," Jean replied in a clipped voice. 

"Oh, my," Beast said in a hushed tone as he turned his back on the two and concentrated on his pipetting. 

Logan wiped his hands nervously on the front of his coarse red plaid shirt. *Great, she's gunna be one of THOSE* he thought, just a little too loudly.

"What do you mean, one of THOSE?'" Jean asked as she narrowed her eyes.

"Nothin,'" Logan mumbled in a gruff voice. 

Jean glared at him. "So what's up for today? I was supposed to have a lesson with the professor but he told me it was cancelled," 

"Yeah, apparently he has better things to do," Logan growled.

Beast cleared his throat and the two of them looked over at him. He grinned widely, "Jean, Wolverine would like to have a little talk with you inthe conference room." 

As the two men stared at each other, Jean tried to come up with something she had done wrong. What had she done that would warrant 'a talk'. As usual, she came up with nothing. She had just brought home a report card of all As, had just been voted MVP of her club soccer team, her violin recital had been wonderful, her training was going very well andoh. Crap. She glanced over at Logan, who was grinding his teeth.

"Let's go, Red. I'll have a talk with the good doctor later," Logan said in a low voice as he headed out of the infirmary. 

Hank McCoy blinked rapidly and briefly considered a short vacation. Argentina, maybe, or Timbuktu. 

Jean walked behind Logan down the long metal corridor. Well, if he's going to talk about it I might as well be the one to bring it up. "If you're going to yell at me for sleeping with Scott I think you'd at least better let me tell you my side of the story," she said to his back.

He froze, then turned slowly. "What?" he whispered, eyes wide. 

Jean shivered. She had expected him to be angry, but she wasn't prepared for the look he was giving her right now. His breath had quickened and his muscles were so tense it looked like he was going to burst out of his own skin. "Jeez, Logan, it's really not such a big deal. Please don't tell Scott that you found out, he would be so embarrassed."

Logan cocked his head to the side as if he could not understand the words coming out of her mouth. Finally something snapped. "You're twelve years old, what do you mean you slept with him?!"

Jean stared at him for a moment, "What do you mean what do I mean?" Jean yelled back. Then there was a brief flash of thought from Logan and suddenly Jean knew exactly what Logan was thinking. "Eeew! Are you kidding me? I'm twelve years old!" 

"I know!" Logan shouted.

"I slept in his bed with him last night because he was having nightmares. I didn't sleep with him sleep with him," suddenly Jean's face had turned a very bright shade of red.

"Well good!" Logan huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Yer way to young to start thinking about stuff like that, Red." Logan was acting very fidgety. 

"Stuff like what?" Jean asked in an innocent voice. She didn't feel like making this easy on him right now.

"Ya know, all that birds and bees crap," Logan mumbled.

Jean smirked at him, "Why are you so concerned with this all of a sudden," but as soon as she said the words she knew. 

Logan shifted his eyes away and shrugged.

Oh, God. He can smell me. How embarrassing. Jean's could feel heat building in her face as the blush returned once again. 

"Jeannie it's nothin' to be embarrassed about, it, uh, happens to every um young lady," Logan wiped a hand over his mouth as he spoke. He stood rubbing the back of his neck, waiting for her response. 

"So you got stuck with giving me 'the talk'?" Jean asked curtly.

Logan nodded and looked to the side.

"Well you lucked out because I already got it all explained to me in sixth grade health class," Jean sighed.

"Oh thank God," Logan smiled. "So we're done then. Great, let's join Scott and get some work done," Logan said as he turned around and started to leave.

"Um, there is one thing though," Jean said in a small voice. 

Logan didn't think he was going to like what she had to say, "Yeah?" he asked as he turned and perked up a bushy eyebrow.

Jean looked down and mumbled, "Well, I wasn't really prepared for this morning so" she shrugged her shoulders and looked at him, hoping she wouldn't have to finish the sentence.

"So?" Logan said slowly as he shook his head and stared.

"Uh, I don't really have the right supplies. I need you to take me to the store in town," Jean answered. 

"Maybe 'Ro might have something," Logan suggested.

"I'm not going to go through her things, are you?"

Logan quickly shook his head. Sifting through 'Ro's toiletries was not something he was interested in doing. 

"Well good then, let's go," Jean said as she flipped her hair to the side and stalked off toward the garage. 

"First go change your clothes. I'm not going to the store with you if yer wearing pajamas," Logan said.

Jean whipped around and faced him, "These clothes are comfortable so BACK OFF!" she immediately turned around and continued toward the garage.

Logan jumped back and unsheathed his claws. Christ! He sheathed his claws again and hustled after her. As he jogged after her a very scary thought began to form in his head. He had read somewhere that women who live together usually follow the same cycle. Something to do with hormones. A telekinetic and a Weather Witch PMSing at the same time. "Fuckin' great," Logan mumbled to himself.

"Logan, I heard that!" Jean yelled at him from over her shoulder.

A telepathic telekinetic, Logan reminded himself. Even better. 

By the time Logan had caught up to her, Jean was waiting impatiently in the passenger seat of the red convertible. She had already telekinetically started the engine, which was revving. 

Scott came trotting over from the lawn, curious at the sound. He approached the garage cautiously, trusting in his spatial sense. His blindness had helped him develop a sixth sense; he just knew where things were. Dr. McCoy had tried to explain it, perhaps linking it to Scott's mutant powers, yet it still remained a mystery. Scott knew the sound of the convertible engine, so he knew that it had to be Logan who was driving. "Hey, Logan, where you going? Can I come?"

Jean twisted her body in her seat to face Scott. 

"Nowhere special kid, we're just going to the store to get Jeannie some--" but he was cut off before he could finish, "Ahhhhh!" he yelled as he was propelled backwards and slammed into the back wall of the garage. Wrenches knocked off the wall came clattering down around him. 

Scott tensed, "Logan? Are you ok? What happened?"

Logan got up and rubbed his lower back, he growled at Jean.

She glared back at him and he immediately stopped growling.

"He's fine, Scott, he just needs to be a little more careful," Jean said pointedly. 

There was an awkward silence as Logan walked slowly toward the car.

"Uh, ok," Scott said, very confused. "So, um, where are you going?" Not that he really cared where they were going; he just wanted to go a long for the ride. He loved that car, the speed, and the wind whipping across his face. He just couldn't wait 'till he had those glasses and a license.

Logan put up his hands in silence; he had learned his lesson.

Ignoring her ethics for one moment, Jean did a brief mindscan on Scott. She had to find the one place he would never want to go to. She grinned. "Logan's taking me shopping for summer dresses."

Logan furrowed his brow and shook his head. He was about to say something, but she glared at him once more. He slipped into the driver's seat and waited quietly. 

"Oh, cool," Scott lied. I wonder what she looks like, Scott thought absently.

"Um, so do you wanna come? You could help me decide." Jean asked, knowing he would decline.

"But I can't see," Scott reminded her. And besides, if he wanted to do something boring and pointless he could go help Beast with his protein experiments. And yet, he almost wanted to go, just to spend time with Jean.

Sensing his changing mind, Jean blurted out, "That's ok, you could be moral support. And hey! Then we're going to go shoe shopping!"

"Uh, thanks but no thanks," Scott smiled. She may be Jean, but Scott knew that going shoe shopping with a girl, any girl, was probably a fate worse than death. Granted he didn't really have anything to base this little theory on, but he trusted his instincts. "I promised Dr. McCoy I'd help him later. I'll catch up with you later!" Scott turned and jogged off.

"What was all that about?" Logan asked as he pulled out of the garage. "Why couldn't ya just tell him? Sorry to bust yer bubble, Red, but eventually he's gunna figure it out," Logan snorted. 

Jean turned her head and watched the trees they passed by, "It's just embarrassing," she mumbled, knowing that with his acute sense of hearing Logan would pick it up.

"Why?"

"It just _is_!" Jean frowned.

Logan sighed and rolled his eyes. "Jeannie, I told 'ya, it's nothin' to be embarrassed about. It's natural, every girl hasta go through it. So what's the big deal?"

"Fine! Fine! You want to know what it is? I don't want it, I don't want any of it! I don't want my period! I'm starting to grow breasts and I don't want those either! I don't want bras! And I don't want boys and men to look at me funny, to think_things._" Jean frowned and looked down at her feet.

Logan chuckled and shook his head, "Red, yer twelve years old, I wouldn't worry about that for a while yet."

Jean snorted. "Uh, ok. Thanks for telling me, _a telepath_, what people are and aren't thinking." 

Logan was silent for a moment, staring at the road. His hands gripped the wheel tightly. "What do you mean?" he said quietly.

"You _know _what I mean," Jean sighed. 

He did, but he didn't believe it. He glanced at her with his peripheral vision. She was tall for her age. Maybe somebody could mistake her for thirteen. Fourteen tops. But still. He shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable at the thought of anybody seeing his little Jeannie as anything but little. He glanced over at her again. Sure, she was gunna be a knockout, there was no doubt about that, but right now she was just a kid. If he had it his way, Logan would walk a step behind her, claws extended, ripping into any male who so much as looked at her. For once he was grateful that the Professor had Jean going to that fuckin' all girls Catholic school. But in a couple of years she'd be going to Bayville High School. He wouldn't be able to protect her there. He gritted his teeth and continued to drive. 

"I don't want people to look at me any differently," she said softly. "I almost wish Scott would never see me. I mean, I don't want him to be blind, but I don't want him too see me and change the way he thinks of me, or acts towards me. He's my best friend and I don't ever want to screw that up," she sniffed and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. 

"Aw, kid, Scott ain't like that and you know it," Logan replied. "The kid's a Boy Scout. He'll always be yer best friend. Maybe he will look at ya differently, but that'll never change."

Jean smiled a little. "My mom always used to tell me that before she and Dad got married they were best friends," she blushed furiously as soon as she had said it.

Logan jerked his head toward her and grinned.

"I mean, I don't mean that, I"

"So you have a little crush on the Boy Scout?" Logan grinned.

"I do not!" Jean said just a bit too loudly. 

"Don't worry, Red. Yer secret's safe with me," Logan laughed and patted her on the shoulder. 

Jean was about to make a joke about mindwiping him, but caught herself. It was not at all an appropriate joke to make in regards to Logan's past. Instead she just smiled back at him, "Thanks."

They rode in silence for a while. They had made it into town now and were almost there. 

You know, you're going to look at me differently too, Logan, Jean thought as she glanced over at him. Maybe you won't mean it, but you will. She bit her bottom lip and looked down at her feet. 

"Well, here we are," Logan announced unnecessarily as they pulled into a parking space. 

Jean got out of the car and waited. "Are you coming?" she asked after a few seconds.

He had thought he'd just sit in the car and wait, but the tone in her voice was anxious so he decided to go. 'Uh, yeah," he grumbled as he got out of the car. 

It was almost noon and the grocery store was very busy. 

Logan shuffled after Jean as she scanned the isles. Finally they arrived at the 'feminine needs' isle. 

"Goddamn, I've never seen so much pink in my life," Logan mumbled.

"Yeah, you should see the Barbie section in Toy's R Us," Jean answered as she started down the isle. She stopped abruptly, her eyes widened and she turned around. She moved quickly, but not so fast as to draw attention to herself. "Oh my God," Logan heard her whisper under her breath as she speed walked past him and turned. 

Great, what now, he thought to himself as he followed her.

"What's the problem?" he asked her as she ducked behind a stack of Ding-Dongs. 

"I can't believe this is happening. There are some girls from my school down there."

Logan leaned back and nonchalantly looked down the isle. A small group of girls wearing too much make-up sifted through the magazine stacks at the end of the isletwo feet away from the 'feminine needs.' 

"So?"

"So! So! So I can't go down there! I can't let them see me there! They already hassle me enough, I would be the laughing stock of the entire school," she moaned and covered her face with her hands.

"Stop being so dramatic!" Logan hissed at her, "Christ! They're going through the same thing, right? So there's nothing to be embara---"

"I swear to God, Logan, don't finish that sentence unless you want 'Who Let the Dogs Out' implanted into your head for the next six months."

Logan blanched at the thought. He sighed. "Fine. Then what do we do?"

Jean sneaked a peek down the isle. "We wait." 

Logan glanced at his watch. The Montreal Canadiens had a game that started in half an hour and he was not going to miss it because he was staked out behind hostess snacks waiting for a bunch of little girls to finish giggling over Seventeen Magazine. If this is what it was going to take"Just tell me what you need, I'll get it," Logan said through clenched teeth. 

Jean's eyes went wide with surprise as she looked up at him. "Really?"

"Yeah, really."

She smiled and hugged him around the waste. "I love you!"

He grinned and hugged her back, "Yeah, yeah, kid. I love you too," he said, suddenly realizing that it was the first time he remembered saying those words to anybody. "So what do you need?"

"Uh, I'm not exactly sure," Jean admitted as she released him from the hug. "I mean, I'm kinda new at this too."

Logan took a deep breath and nodded his head. "Ok then. I'll just get a variety."

He walked down the isle, prepared to do possibly the most embarrassingly feminine thing he would ever do. And there, standing in front of him holding a package of Maxi pads was the hottest babe he had seen since the Budweiser bikini contest. 

She flipped her long blond hair over her shoulder and smiled at him. 

He grinned back and turned to look at the selection.

"So, that time of the month again?" she asked with a small laugh.

He chuckled and lifted an eyebrow. He was about to use Jean to pick up a chick. The rugged yet sensitive guy. "My niece over there," Logan said, jerking his thumb toward the hostess section, "the red head who peeks her head out every few seconds, she just got her first period today. She's a little embarrassed so I'm doing the shopping for her."

"Awww," the woman said. It was the 'Awww' that referred to puppies, kittens, babies, and very cute and sensitive men. "That's adorable. And you're here to help her out?"

"Yep, she can always count on her Uncle Logan," he said with a wink.

"Well, Uncle Logan, my name is Maya," she stuck out her hand in greeting.

"A pleasure," Logan said with a smile as he grasped her hand. "So do ya think ya could help me out a little here? I'm in the dark with this stuff," he said as he gestured to the shelves in front of him.

"Sure thing," she said with a smile as she picked out a few things and handed them to him.

Jean watched from behind the Twinkies as Logan talked with the blond haired woman. They were laughing. After a few minutes, when Logan had clearly picked out what he was going to buy, Jean began to get impatient. The woman opened up her purse and took out a scrap of paper. She wrote something on it and handed it to Logan. Jean rolled her eyes. Leave it to Logan to pick up chicks over a box of tampons. Jean grinned as a wicked thought formed in her mind. She raced off to find a certain item. After a few moments, she returned to her post, item in hand, to watch their conversation. Finally they said good bye to each other and Logan walked toward Jean, a smile on his face.

"I got a date," Logan said with a grin as he passed her and headed toward the checkout isle. 

"No kidding," Jean replied in a monotone voice as she followed him. 

He set his items on the conveyer belt and got out his wallet. He looked up at the sound of a box being dropped on the belt.

A condom box.

"What is that for?" Logan glanced at her.

She grinned back at him and laughed. "Oh, you know. The birds and the bees and the wolverines."

End. 


End file.
